I have tried to live by them my whole life.
I know I have been as honest as appropriately possible in this blog.
While still being smartly discerning about what I report.
Discernment out of respect to my personal growth and needs, and discernment out of respect for my readers.
I tell the truth to set myself free.
And I do it to help inspire others to set themselves free.
Telling the truth about my drinking is helping to heal my drinking problem.
I don't feel I have a drinking problem any longer!
I feel very good about my drinking.
And I am starting to feel consistently good about my drinking behavior too.
That's More Progress!
In CultAA they attack alcohol as being "Cunning, baffling, and powerful"
It's the very nature of not respecting alcohol and it's power that can cause alcoholism.
Respecting alcohol's power softens it's power over you.
Not demonizing it, but honoring it, whether you want to drink or not.
It's a spiritual understanding.
The Less Fear I Have About Alcohol And Drinking
The Better My Drinking Habits Are
I drank a fourth time this week after all, yesterday.
It is helping me through my Intense Grieving And PTSD.
I absolutely don't want my drinking to continue at this level.
I absolutely desire and intend for it to shift again.
What I Am Going Through Over My FOO (family of origin) Is Unbearable And Unfathomable.
It's A Wonder I'm Not A Full-Blown Alcoholic, Truly.
And I Love to smoke pot when I drink. It slows down time. It elevates my mood. It relaxes me further.
But what I'm learning by honoring and respecting alcohol's cunning, baffling power, and not fearing it, is that simultaneously I'm paying more attention to my Intuition and honoring it.
Like today, when I was thinking about how could I get away with drinking because I really wanted to, to help me get over this hump regarding my deep pain over my FOO.
Long story short, as I was returning home from an errand, I decided to get a half pint of vodka and headed towards the store. I wasn't afraid or anything, I consciously acknowledged and honored alcohol's power. I was paying attention to how I was feeling and that's when I became aware of my Intuition's voice; for me in the form of a feeling at that moment. And all of a sudden I decided to drive home instead.
My Intuition was telling me not to drink today, I heard it, and I honored it.
It's being a really great day for me in every way. I feel so good in my body. I feel so good about myself.
