My Drinking History: Over four decades of mostly problem drinking, five drunken-related arrests in my 20s (the early 80s), of abstinence and binge-drinking, of trying moderation and usually-or-often failing, of being immersed in almost every other recovery group out there, but of being mostly sober.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

In Case You Smelled My Bullshit Yesterday

My intentions were pure and I believed what I was composing on Thursday, and I chose to go ahead and publish it here Friday, after much thought, even though it wasn't true.

Now I know why it wasn't true and now I feel safe to expose myself to you.

On Thursday I ended up drinking 4.5 of those 7.7%-alcohol beers = 6.75 standard drinks.

And on Friday I drank 6 regular beers (6 standard drinks).

And Now I Know Why:

Friday morning's Judy's Jottings post:  judyactonayala.blogspot.com//i-wonder-how-long-it-will-take-if-ever

This morning's Judy's Jottings post (composed yesterday while buzzed):  judyactonayala.blogspot.com/a-pretend-letter-to-my-ex-mother-to


It took a lot out of me to write and post all of these. I'll be alright. I know I won't drink today or tomorrow. So, I drank 3 times this week, down from 4 days last week when the FOO (family of origin) shit really hit the fan. I'm trying to be non-judgmental of myself because I deserve my own compassion. Because it's my desire to drink only 2 times a week again, I know I will return to that, and probably starting next week.


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