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I'm sharing many of the choicest responses from my coach, Shelly, from
Module 5: Resources
I continue to strongly recommend the Life Process Program as the Perfect tool and resource to help people overcome any kind of "addiction" or bad habit!
.I wholeheartedly believe that people possess within themselves the resources to tackle challenges that come up in their lives. I just dont think a lot people realize and utilize their own ability to access these resources when they need them. LPP works hard at aiding people by helping them find those inner strengths and resources, some that have yet to be discovered or have lied dormant for many years; we have the privilege through our work to see people become successful by learning to become their own advocate in life and agent of change.
Many people want a little more inner strength so that they dont abuse or fall prey to the excess of any addictive habit--there are too many to list as discussed in previous module reflection:) When emotions are strong in a persons life, either good or bad, they are diluted somewhat after an intense exercise session. This is a strong tool for achieving emotional balance. When you work out really hard and exercise with great intensity, it sort of turns down the volume of those emotions. They may still be there but they are far less important--they are less damaging. They cannot hurt you or affect you as much because the exercise is so intense. This could involve traditional exercise or even meditative practices. When I think of exercise and speak of it, I am speaking of it in either a physical sense or emotional sense as is seen with mental exercises; this is a personal preference available for everyone and whatever their life conditions are.
With respect to the FOO, do you FINALLY hold the power now in those relationships? I want you to challenge yourself when vulnerable FOO moments come, to recognize which part of you is feeling stuck or inferior, and align your inner self with your own power and control. Make sense? In some relationships the balance of power needs to shift at times, but only if to do so is less toxic and allows you to operate in a collective health.
Every relationship that we have is an emotional investment. Sometimes when we put our energy into the wrong things, we grow distance between us and the very things or people that we feel we need and dont want to lose in our lives. But who we emotionally invest ourselves in, are the relationships that support us and help sustain us the most during hard times. So the shift is now happening for you Jaya, where you are now putting much more effort into your primary relationships, and finally onto yourself, instead of other things. You know what the right things are now: love, patience, attention, focusing on those closest to you. Loved ones may still have their guard down, but if there is anything that can break down an emotional wall that has been built for self preservation and protection, it is LOVE--the unconditional kind goes a long way. I have a lot of hope for you and your situation with your loved ones=)
Which coping skills have improved the most, Miss Jaya? What changes did you have to make with your mindset to get as far as you are today with maintaining good use of problem solving and coping skills. Are there still struggles with emotional reactivity and jumping to assumptions?--which is fear-based living.--Im stretching you to look at this area, because I care of course!
Which skills (problem-solving and coping skills) do you identify right now as being ones that are the most difficult for you or that you feel you need better practice and management of?
You have done FABULOUS! We all can improve in one way or another. I sense that you have been wanting and ARE successfully building your coping skills up to a level where they are on autopilot in your mind, to respond and kick in when the situation requires it to, as well as being present and mindful or aware of what your emotional triggers are and what you are thinking and feeling. ALWAYS dare to challenge your inner critic--a part of yourself that can really sneak up on you--Remember that emotional reactivity arises out of the quality of our thought life.
Notice that when you exceed your healthy moderation level of drinking, youre giving it power and allowing IT to cope with circumstances in your life, instead of you, to the extent that the self management skills tend to go out the window! Choosing which thoughts and memories you want to feed with more attention and energy, and which ones serve no purpose to continue to do that for or replay in your mind over and over, is a lesson worth learning and gaining more proficiency in. Nobody wants to feel controlled by their life circumstances or people. I want your life story to include the worst of these memories because I want to help you successfully work through them so they arent continuing to control your life, especially your future.
OH OH...want to add...when any type of stress or triggers to stress sneak up on you, remember that--Mental stress is based on fear and is sometimes rooted in shame or guilt - based thinking! Our spiritual self--as you know--lives in a container of centeredness and self love:) So I really want you to monitor that for me closely right now. Lets work together on growing in this area of your life.
I think the key in this area is to find a way to live comfortably, while also gaining satisfaction from the work you are doing. I wish you could start perhaps leaving a donation area on your blogspot since it is so active and GROWING!! Youre a natural writer:) -----------> You heard the coach, readers! Donate-up when I get that set-up! ;) HeeHee!
You are proving to be at a good place where you are now using more mindfulness techniques to ease overwhelming thoughts and memories that are associated with negative feelings that may come on occasion. What will help your memory centers of the brain right now, is continuing to focus on strengthening the following skills: mindfulness, goal-setting, measuring your goals, exploring values and holding yourself to them, future planning and anticipation, strengthening relationships with loved ones, and reframing negativity into positivity--immediately when you feel a moment of mental assault come on!
More thoughts that I would like to throw out there: When we are worried, we are focused on the wrong thing. Usually we are focused on the outcome we DONT want to have happen. We focus on these negative what ifs and help create that outcome by giving so much attention to it. Our brains try to find us more thoughts that match the things we think about. If you are thinking about something, even if you dont want it to happen, your brain helps create it for you. When you have more and more worry, you create neural pathways for it. Eventually it impacts your other thoughts and turns you into a worrier and you overflow your mental river banks with negative thinking. This week: I want you to ask yourself these questions--How much worrying do I do? Keep track of all the things you worry about for a full day. Write them down. Now assess them carefully. Are they really things you need to worry about, or are you wasting your time and energy worrying about things that are a) unimportant or b) not likely to happen?
