My Drinking History: Over four decades of mostly problem drinking, five drunken-related arrests in my 20s (the early 80s), of abstinence and binge-drinking, of trying moderation and usually-or-often failing, of being immersed in almost every other recovery group out there, but of being mostly sober.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

It's Like Playing Russian Roulette Though

Going from problem drinking to consistent moderate drinking is like playing Russian Roulette, therefore it is perhaps not for most of us, and I understand why most problem drinkers choose to become teetotalers when they want to change.

And also, according to the severity of one's drinking problem, that would be a determining factor.

What one's loved ones require of them is a major factor.

But the bottom line is, Sobriety Rocks!
Sobriety has to be self-defined, so whether that means being alcohol-free for life, or drinking moderately (that has to be self-defined too).

There's just nothing in life you can enjoy while under the influence that isn't BETTER sober! I learned that a long time ago, thankfully! Yes, I'm even talking about sex! It's way better sober! It can take a while to get to the place of knowing that and living it if you're used to only having sex when you're buzzed, but it's so worth it to get to that place!

The Russian Roulette part is about so many of the problems and glitches and mistakes and sufferings I've been talking about on this blog since I began it. GAWD it's been awful so much of the time. Failing at controlling my drinking, feeling like shit too much of the time; physically, mentally and emotionally, and even spiritually, disappointing myself and others countless times, all the guilt and self-doubt, all the cravings and addictive thoughts to deal with, all the trial-and-error in figuring out when and how much to drink, all the failed Drinking Plans, the embarrassment and shame at times over being public, oh god and the insanity of drinking and driving sometimes, and drunk-dialing sometimes....

It's A Hard Journey! Not to mention trying to deal with your real problems---the ones that cause the drinking problem---while you're trying to learn to drink moderately!

It Makes More Sense To Quit Drinking For 30 Days First! Like most of the good programs recommend! (links in right margin)

But, contrary to what they say, it is absolutely Not "Imperative" to quit drinking for 30 days, OK? HAMS knows this. And I and others are proof of that! I simply need to create my own program or method by utilizing things I'm learning from the good ones, but mostly from myself.

Again, here are my very real reasons for not doing the abs-30. It is simply another serious example of how CultAA and other recovery groups damaged me: I-Had-To-Look-Really-Deep

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