My Drinking History: Over four decades of mostly problem drinking, five drunken-related arrests in my 20s (the early 80s), of abstinence and binge-drinking, of trying moderation and usually-or-often failing, of being immersed in almost every other recovery group out there, but of being mostly sober.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

It Was A Nice Thought, But

I think "Doing a 30" is designed mostly for people who aren't moderating their drinking, but are drinking too much and needing a "cleanse" or a "break."

I thoroughly enjoyed abstaining yesterday and know I'll re-incorporate more abs days in my regimen, but I already successfully cut down my drinking without having to do a 30!

As long as I still really want to drink, I will.
I already know that whatever I put my mind to, I'll do; and I still have more non-alcohol days in my life than alcohol-days.
It comes down to what you want more.

So, it was fun "pondering" doing a 30, but I'm not interested in doing that now.

That's fair, right? It's important to be fair to yourself and support yourself throughout your process.

I will definitely be avoiding wine, and that includes champagne.
Darn!
I learned yesterday that most wine contains lactic acid and I learned that I must avoid lactic acid; which is why I also have to give up the Mercola Probiotics I've been taking forever. With ME/CFS we over-produce lactic acid in our guts and it's what our bodies burn instead of oxygen during exertion and that causes exhaustion, illness, etc. Most probiotics contain lactic acid; which is good for healthy people. I'll be trying another probiotic soon.

Also, I'm much more focused on healing my gut flora, because more and more research suggests it's key to good health. I spent the day yesterday researching and studying.
So, I have more incentive and motivation to go easier on drinking.
I'll drink 1 - 4 when I drink, and I'll abs also.

Today I have a few emotional upsets that are triggering me to want to drink, but I know I won't drink more than 4.
The magnitude of what I'm dealing with in my life regarding my truly evil FOO (family of origin); who only recently showed their "true" colors; who are no better than Republicans, aka: wolves in sheep's clothing in the way they treat me.... well, as of today after one last frightfully painful email it's finally over for good and it's the beginning of my True Liberation --- but this is not the time to try to cut my moderation down to no more than 3. 4 is perfectly fine for now.

Ya know, even healthy people who are normal social drinkers want to drink during times of stress or upset! It's perfectly normal and healthy to want to do so!

MODERATION IS KING!
MODERATION IS EVERYTHING!

Ha Ha!


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