I'm sad and sorry to say alcohol ruined a healing day after all, because I lost control and drank 1 1/2 more drinks. I had Jordan buy booze for me (beer) because I told him I was going to drive if he didn't. I was already drunk and stoned. I wish he didn't bring me more booze. I wish he would have just come over and spent time with me instead until the cravings passed. It wasn't more alcohol I needed, it was attention and caring. Now we're in an argument and I accused him of not loving me. I'm not proud of a couple of my posts on Facebook last night either. I woke up hating myself to pieces and sick of drinking.
I'm ready for a break from booze.
Wish I didn't have that deep block/hang-up CultAA gave me, preventing me from abstaining for 30 days; making me VOW not to even, but I do. A previous post:
i-had-to-look-really-deep-to-figure-it-out At least I'm completely comfortable with being substance-free for a while!
