I'm drinking today
I'm drinking early
It was just one of those days
I don't know why
But I honor myself and my choices
I've had two standard drinks in two hours
I have one more available to me here
I have No desire for more
I don't know why
Normally I would want to go get more
That is, normally until a week ago
I'm so fucking Over It
I'm so fucking Over wanting to drink more
What's happening to me?!!!!
I will tell you the truth
But it will absolutely surprise me
If I do end up wanting more
Than three today
Even though I'm apparently in a getting intoxicated mood
With The Intention Of Achieving Balance And Control Over Drinking And Being Fully Deprogrammed From CultAA--which I am learning to forgive, and let go of. Research teaches us that 1 out of 3 people are problem drinkers, but 90% of problem drinkers are Not Alcoholics and can change.
My Drinking History: Over four decades of mostly problem drinking, five drunken-related arrests in my 20s (the early 80s), of abstinence and binge-drinking, of trying moderation and usually-or-often failing, of being immersed in almost every other recovery group out there, but of being mostly sober.