P.S. It's weird that I feel like I'm being punished by choosing abstinence for a while.
I don't know how this is going to work if it feels like a punishment.
It needs to feel like my wanted choice only.
Do you know what I mean?
What if I'm really not ready to abstain from drinking for the three+ weeks?

I have a lot to learn.
I have a lot to figure out.
I've barely started the 8-week-minimum LPP program.

What if it's still those old CultAA tapes in my head that made me think I HAVE to not drink for a while?
This is a very legit question. In LPP I'm slowly sorting through the CultAA tapes in my head with Shelly. It's almost like LPP vs. CultAA; we're going to Take Down That Harmful, Damaging Cult And Exorcise It From My Mind.

It's one thing to have a rough experience like I had yesterday and to wake up the next day with a positive attitude and an open evaluation and assessment; and the natural desire not to drink that day....
but to immediately jump to the conclusion that I MUST or NEED to not drink for a few weeks?
Where did that idea even come from??

See, this is not a person making excuses, this is a person honestly evaluating the truth.

I Must Have The Truth about myself, my drinking, my thinking.

I already proved to myself I can drink moderately when I choose to, and not drive....

It's funny because when I bought the first three servings of wine at the store yesterday, I wanted to buy four, but all they had left were three (there was one missing from the 4-pack). I remember my concern at the time. I had already decided to buy and drink four. I worried that I would end up wanting to drive to get one more mini after I drank the three. But I decided to trust the situation and just take the three.

And sure enough, I did end up driving to get a fourth. Four would have been perfect to begin with. I would have easily stopped there, and I wouldn't have driven.