Love this one. From one of my LPP exercises. (Link to LPP in the right margin):
Exercise 3.3 - More Skills at Managing Thinking
1. Think about a negative topic that has the ability to depress you. Now, quickly switch to a positive thought, image, or memory that never fails to put you in a good mood. Switching to this positive thought is like turning on a switch. Knowing how to do so—practicing doing it—is a skill. Describe your experience.
Wow. This is a rather profound exercise for me. I'm the type that when a negative thought and feeling come to me, I lock-on to it, thinking I need to sit with it and be with it until it passes on its own, or something happens in my environment to change my mood. Deliberately switching to a positive thought/feeling in the midst of feeling so sad and bad was very interesting.
It's morning, and I haven't even had my coffee yet. The first thing I wanted to do was to come here and work on my LPP. (blog readers, link in right margin.) I'm already feeling bad, you see. I'm feeling bad about myself as a drinker, and I didn't even drink yesterday, but I fear I will want to today; when I don't really want to today. Because a bigger part of me feels like I've lost some interest in drinking! I'm actually excited about that, and think it's a very healthy sign!
But my body is still feeling burned-out by all the drinking I have done this year. I'm feeling really down, and I know it's from the alcohol's effects on my brain/gut, as much or more as how drinking is effecting me psychologically. I Want To Be Free of alcohol's clutches; not in an all or nothing way ever again; in a safe, healthy, normal drinker kind of way.
So, thinking about the negative aspects regarding my drinking and worrying about whether I'll ever be how I want to be easily makes me depressed right now. I then immediately switched my thoughts to being back in Big Basin in the redwoods with my family, and felt instant peace and joy. I forgot to mention it in my earlier comment, but that sacred place is my go-to-happy-place now. I watch the slide show of pictures we took every day on my laptop. :D
However, those warm fuzzy feelings didn't last long and the sadness took over again. I'm in a precarious place this day because I'm Ready to Improve my drinking habits starting TODAY. I've been drinking every-other day for a few weeks, and I want to only drink twice a week.... I truly want to only drink once a week, but don't see that as a realistic place to start; I don't see myself realistically as being there yet, so I'm trying to give myself a break here by planning realistically.
The last time I drank I stuck with my plan, but it was hard, but I felt happy and proud the next morning (yesterday morning), but it was still Too Much Booze. 4 standard drinks was too much, but I didn't succumb to more when I wanted one more!!
I'm now starting to notice that the accumulated use of booze and pot are causing more short-term memory problems. That's not OK with me. And my demeanor is changing and becoming discordant at times when it normally wouldn't.
I'm really ready and wanting to up the game now. Can I Do It? <she asked herself sternly>
