I'm working hard on this.
But this morning I've tapped-into the really deep reason I've been "killing myself with alcohol" lately. So, yeah, a break-through. Something I've been trying to deny, hide from, not face. Well, now I know.
My next plan of action? To stop drinking for a while and heal some things. I've got extra help from Jordan and I'm going back to my psychologist, the wonderful Dr. Z.
OK, now more than ever, PLEASE let this be me:
With The Intention Of Achieving Balance And Control Over Drinking And Being Fully Deprogrammed From CultAA--which I am learning to forgive, and let go of. Research teaches us that 1 out of 3 people are problem drinkers, but 90% of problem drinkers are Not Alcoholics and can change.
My Drinking History: Over four decades of mostly problem drinking, five drunken-related arrests in my 20s (the early 80s), of abstinence and binge-drinking, of trying moderation and usually-or-often failing, of being immersed in almost every other recovery group out there, but of being mostly sober.