My Drinking History: Over four decades of mostly problem drinking, five drunken-related arrests in my 20s (the early 80s), of abstinence and binge-drinking, of trying moderation and usually-or-often failing, of being immersed in almost every other recovery group out there, but of being mostly sober.

Monday, August 17, 2015

It's Simply An Arm Wrestling Match

I had immersed myself so deeply in the beliefs of CultAA starting before my brain was even fully developed, that for the next three+ decades during struggles-with-alcohol-times, whenever I didn't want to drink but had strong cravings, I believed that I COULDN'T resist them (without going to a meeting! or calling my sponsor!) because I was POWERLESS over them. So, I usually couldn't, and drank to excess, and beat myself up mercilessly; which led to more heavy drinking the next day.

I wish I could make all the AA Nazis that have bullied me in my life understand this.
But I'd settle for helping those presently free from CultAA's clutches, but still influenced by them negatively to understand this.

But now, thanks mostly to LPP (link in right margin), I simply recognize that cravings are, well, let me share what my coach, Shelly, just wrote to me:

"Pretend that you and the drinking are in an arm wrestle match on a daily basis, and it may carry some strength to it, but yours is stronger and you are not letting your weight be taken down."

 This sensible, empowering, rational, and reasonable thinking changes the entire dynamic.
I do want to point out that for me it's not a daily match, however; I don't have inclinations to drink everyday.

That's me on the left and booze on the right!:



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