I love my FOO (family of origin). It has been a very rocky road for me to be a member of my FOO though.
It's a very long story, and the subject of my little memoir that I wrote. The focus is on healing and forgiveness.
In order for me to have welcomed them back into my life earlier this year, I had to do a lot of spiritual and personal healing. But once I learned I could resolve soul contracts on my own without the participation of unwilling personalities, I was indeed able to then end my orphan status; the status I felt I had no choice but to choose over the years.
Since April our connection has been sporadic but always pleasant and loving. I'm grateful for that. Love is the only thing that's real, and it's clear they love me and I love them. I've been nuthin but a love bug to them since our reunion, but that doesn't mean I don't still feel hurt by them. It just is what it is. I know now it does no good and only makes matters worse to try to communicate about any sort of discordant energy or feelings.
I want to give it a lot more time. With time, maybe they'll contact me more often; one member, my brother, never contacts me at all. My FOO all moved to Washington state ages ago, and I remain in California. Yesterday my mom called because she, frankly, had nothing better to do. That was pretty obvious to me given the circumstances at the time, although nothing of the sort was implied. It Hurt Like Hell....
No Wonder I Ended Up Drinking Five Drinks Yesterday, instead of the planned-on three or four. Even the universe couldn't help me moderate!
Nonetheless, I still enjoyed the beautiful full moon!
The problem is, I suffered physically in the night because of those extra glasses of wine.
A huge difference for me is that I'm not beating myself up for it, nor am I blaming anyone.
